I’ve found that when talking about parenting, it's most helpful to approach it through the lens of science—especially the science of stress…

Stress is natural. It drives evolution. Humans have evolved over millions of years to meet the stressors of life and recover through rest, maintaining physiological and psychological balance.

But today, for many reasons, both kids and adults are chronically stressed. We're no longer able to maintain that balance. Fortunately, research over the past few decades helps us understand why.

Children's brains are learning at an astonishing pace. This alone puts a lot of stress on their systems. It's good stress—but it doesn't leave much room for anything else.

When kids experience excessive stress—whether from not having enough recovery time or the right environment to process, or from too often facing challenges that stretch them beyond their limits—they develop creative ways to cope with being overwhelmed.

But these coping behaviors are often maladaptive. That means they work in the short term to keep overwhelm at bay, but they always come at a cost—and ultimately create more stress.

Sometimes, these behaviors are outwardly visible: distraction-seeking, hyperactivity, avoidance, withdrawal, aggression, or substance use. Other times, they’re more internal: compulsive problem-solving, chronic worrying, or excessive (maladaptive) daydreaming.

Some common stressors for children include:

• Lacking enough structure to support learning self-control

• Being expected to do things they don’t yet know how to do

• Not feeling motivated while not knowing how to access motivation

• Being asked to do something tied to negative past experiences they haven’t processed

• Feeling anxiety or lack of motivation due to unprocessed overwhelming experiences from the past

But perhaps the most powerful source of stress for kids and teens is actually our stress as adults.

This usually shows up in two very common ways:

• When we’re stressed but present.
  Life is hard. We're doing our best but we're depleted. In this state, kids often suppress their instinct to come to us for support. They might try to help us feel better by being funny or cute, or take on responsibilities beyond their developmental stage. Or, they may act out in order to get us to refocus on them.

• When we’re triggered and emotionally hijacked.
  We’ve all had moments where our own stress hits a breaking point. A child’s behavior triggers us, and suddenly we’re no longer acting from our wisest, most compassionate self. A more primal part of our brain takes over, cutting off nuance and emotional regulation. We might snap, withdraw, go cold, or shut down. It happens. We're human. Life is intense, and parenting is one of the most demanding roles there is.

We don't need to be perfect. But when these moments happen often and aren’t followed by repair, it places a heavy load of stress on our children—and can contribute to maladaptive behavior patterns.

The Good News

We now have access to a wide range of proven tools for managing stress—for ourselves and for our children. When everyone’s stress is in the growth zone, parenting strategies become far more effective.

Embodied Parenting is about learning to manage your own nervous system so that you can parent from clarity and connection.

Through coaching and group support, we help you:

• Track your stress levels

• Identify and navigate your triggers

• Stay grounded and present when the pressure is high

• Release stuck stress from your body

• Learn and practice new parenting strategies

• Reconnect with your sense of agency

• Set and uphold healthy boundaries

• Rest and recover, even when it feels like there's too much on your plate

• Brainstorm creative solutions your real-life challenges

• Remember and act on what matters most to you

You'll also receive powerful encouragement and support—so you can stay resilient, hopeful, and connected.

If this resonates with you, send us an email with your questions or schedule a complimentary Clarity Call to explore more.